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STEP ONE: Finding an Asian Asian girls typically hang out at one of three places: the mall, the library, or Pinkberry. If, by the end of the night, she giggles into her napkin/hand fan, you've got yourself a second date.

When you get there, look around: the best Asian girl to pick up will be the one wearing a hoodie and heels (there is always one). As she takes out her phone to tell you, you should make a nice comment about her phone flair (Asian girls always have some bedazzled jank hanging off our phones, usually a cartoon duck or a jade tiger). Asian girls will go on a date with anyone if she can tell a cutesy story about it later: "And then, after he saw my Keroppi keychain, he asked me out at Pinkberry! " STEP TWO: The First Date It doesn't matter where you take an Asian girl on a first date as long as you stick to the following topics of conversation: food, fashion, and making fun of other Asians ("So, your friends just stayed in and did math problems? However, no matter what you do, don't step on the yellow-fever land mine that is acknowledging the Asian fetish.

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Hence, Joe Schmoe from back home gets called "Brad Pitt" here. I'll also say that I don't buy into the racist assumptions around the issue of international/interracial dating; by virtue of personal experience, observation, and anecdote, the chimera of "white man hoodwinks hapless Korean woman" or "I'm sick of seeing white losers with Korean women above their station as a reflection of the neo-colonial relationship with the United States and a problematic colonized attitude vis a vis whiteness" are usually just longer and less honest ways of pretty much expressing disgust at interracial couples. Basically, if you don't like seeing white men with Korean women AS A RULE, you are making big generalizations and are being racist when you speak/act negatively against them. Yeah, one can quote statistics about "outmarriage" rates or the myriad alleged "wrong reasons" people get into relationships; but I know gentlemen who prefer blondes or redheads, girls who wear skimpy clothes, or just judge women by the size of their mammaries, but you'd have to go and ask about those, right?

What works in America or the UK may not work its charm in a foreign land.

Koreans can be very much intimidated by English and shy away from girls that know none of their native language.

Of course, dating an Asian girl is very different from dating your typical Nancy or Betty.

So, in order to snag yourself a Mulan, I present to you a White Man's Guide to Dating Asian Girls.